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From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2001.05.05 at 19:48:49(6374)
Hi Rand!

Are you THE major tissue culture fellah? If you are, you got over 21 US
cultivars I need to buy? Say "Yes"..........PLEASE!

Small, and 25 years old? Rather old, that's an understatement surely? 25
years...one plant becomes thousands and thousands usually. Is yours
plastic and you didn't realise?

Yellowing? I can only guess wildly. Is it pot bound and needing root
systems divided? Has it dried out sometimes so that the flesh can't
re-constitute and the rot sets in, doubtful. Spaths should NEVER have
direct sunlight. South West window, my God! If I was a Spath cat
particularly if I was old and my roots were constipated and blackened with
trying to survive your catfood, I'd scream "let me out of this pot", and
when I've spread myself about I'd like a good very dilute feed with trace
elements between total submersion, only every two weeks mind you, with NOT
TOO HIGH nitrogen please. Move me back into shade else I'll play dead or
sceam. Actually maybe I'm just hypochondriac and not sick even after 25
years in solitary confinement but I'll yellow a few leaves to shock him.
And I'll flower and fumigate him with my scent so he still wants me and
doesn't throw me out. Perhaps he'll email Ron and tell him my name but
maybe he doesn't know that? I do hope he splits me up so there'll be a lot
of children and I hope one of 'em will go to Ireland as its good there and
I'll have millions of European grandchildren. Put my little one's roots in
sphagnum and foil, wrap him in todays newspaper and cosset in polythene film
from the supermarket. (Have you seen the new upstart Spaths there,
shocking!). Then put him in a cardboard box and whizz him at the speed of
light to Erin. Wow! Or I could tell him to send a leaf or two in a
plastic bag to Unkl Ron and I'll know whether anything is really wrong.
I'm not old, I need to be great grandchildren that's all. Oh God I hope he
does something soon. TWENTY FIVE YEARS in prison and I'm innocent! My pot
bottom isn't even in water and if he did that now the ALL the roots would go
black and I'd crock. Don't he realise I'm immortal and that all my roots
should be wet, warm, white with plenty of room. And please keep me out of
the sun or bright light or give me double thick Mafia sunglasses. I might
need a bit of Magnesium or decent trace element supplement especially at my
age but don't do anything until I'm out of this pot. But when I'm so
constipated after 25 years blooming mad for him he complains without helping
me properly. Shocking, shocking! I wouldn't be like this in Fairchild or

Sorry Randy I don't know for sure but send a snippet safely and I might! Do
you have CERES or "Mini" or ANY other "common commercial" Spaths in your
local supermarkets or plant emporia? They are as rare as hens teeth over

Serious chuckles


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