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  Perfumes of Heaven and Hell
From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2001.04.28 at 13:49:12(6299)
Good Morning Friends (Fiends?). Oh not another lot of verbage (not herbage)
from Ireland. Where's the off switch? (Press delete but its still on Aroid
L Archives, oh dear). On my knees to you again, I plead that purity and
beauty shall prevail over wanton idolatry. I joined for that idealism and
to travel for Spathiphyllum beyond where Man has gone before. Twas only a
short while ago that I was impatient each morning to open overnight Aroid
email . But now daily I am rudely awoken by stinkology, ten foot, nay
eleven foot rampant Morphos, Yang in full shout. So, every morn, odours of
decay and hell, panic for dustpan, disinfectant and furnace, need to scour
inbox litter tray and clear the nose. The nausea mounts with each new sap
exploding morning. Tis for me in guise of botany for the madding crowd,
raw pornographic symbolism not blissful erotic sensuality . So, please
AMPs to Horror Museums so that they cannot insidiously corrupt from their
barbaric dark. Else, heaven forbid, every home will want one and thence
will never be safe again. Exorcise the diabolic lusts and revere again the
Yin. End the shaman pilgrimages to Tooting. Let the monstrous tubercles
be devoured and cast upon the fire so that none are beguiled by those unholy
disgusting monstrosities. I chump on my garlic furiously and trump....
Good people forsake thy nightmare idols and indulgencies and turn again to
noble lovely Venus and Apollo.

It is Heaven here. Over four hundred Peace Lily Spathes are awake. The
simple grace and exquisite perfume are divine. Heavenly scent as of most
delicate and beauteous woman, leafy forms exemplifying gracious and nubile
femininity pervade the wonder of the radiant West Cork waterfront. No
putrid AMPs or their kind can colonise safe in this balmy idyll. For
harbouring such idolatry we would be at least spurned or for such
witchcraft, most justly burned at the stake. Let us talk of fine and
beautiful sights, of entrancing scents, of elegant simplicity. Let us
revere the noble theatre not the ignoble colosseum of Nature.

And frightened lonely Spathiphyllum of the World come to me and I will give
you Joy. When if ever will Ye all identify thyselves.

Collecting Spathiphyllum in the 21st Century isn't easy. If any of you
answer I'll shut up, if not maybe I should pack up?

Good morning all

Ron Greenman

From: "Jay Vannini" interbnk at terra.com.gt> on 2001.04.30 at 02:25:05(6308)
And here I thought that James Joyce was THE complex Irish fellow...

Agape in (Spathiphyllum-bedevilled) Guatemala,

Jota P?

From: "Gabe Thomas" CDANIELLE at prodigy.net> on 2001.04.30 at 14:31:37(6314)
Not the answer you are looking for, I have no Spaths, but please don't
pack up. Your poetic disdain for the stinkys is incredibly entertaining.
More. Maybe not so much about the stinkys though, might be to selective.
Your witty ramblings are great. Keep 'em coming. The only Spaths I ever see
are at the local Safeway (grocery store) and would probably be of little
interest to you; however, if ever I find myself a part of a dream team (what
a great dream) I doubt I'd pass a Spath without thinking of Ron Iles.

Good Morning,

Gabe Thomas

From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2001.05.01 at 14:30:00(6341)
Thank you Jay!

Don't blame my misfortunes on Irish DNA. I'm English probably from Cave
Men French Ancestors!

Your two liner brought me to red alert.
Spathiphyllum BEDEVILLED? You got THAT many! Wonderful! How many kinds?
Maybe I needn't
give up Spathiphyllum and collect Amorphophallus after all? Is it
possible to send any with or without health certificate at cost to me either
buy or exchange? (Would need to know what so I could get SPECIAL import
permit) Is it safe to wild collect and bring back in your (dangerous?)
country? I am getting a number of messages that Central and South America
and elsewhere are "no-go" for getting wild material, so residents like
yourself are SO important. Obviously Spaths are Tropical American apart
from two species so big big problem to get authentic wild. Maybe I need to
forget the idealism and go back to dreaming? When I go to SE Asia inc Sri
Lanka maybe, what do you need?

This year I AM travelling in the Tropics. The problem is to know WHERE is
reasonable safe with HUMANS and what is of interest.
Lonely Planet is interesting but not detailed for collectors and
exporters! Can any Aroid L Collectors advise or dissuade PLEASE? I have
to plan
itineraries soonest so friends you would be VERY appreciated! Just WHERE is
adventurious safe and WONDERFUL?
My best wishes

Ron Iles

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