Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated)

From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2002.09.14 at 21:40:39(9414) In a unseemly haste to answer, I did not edit this epistle as much as I should to make it less incoherent before the draft "got away", again, & during one of the frequent power cuts due to insufficient fossil fuel at power stations, the version being fumigated between several tap dancing lessons was lost. Here is what may be the almost definitive undefinable 10 MB version the less illiterate cross-eyed incongruity of which I hope will not be flushed from the annals of Aroid-L. > Randy, > +More > I enjoyed your humour. Yes of course I know Durian, when most ripe it is said to be like eating custard through **** > So I return the fibrous matter for your (in)digestion. It should not necessarily be regarded as adding to the real Natural History of either your Durian or your Titanum. I hope my fiction is as interesting as some of that which I recently received > Stinky Durians are eaten either by unsmelling animals, or coprophiles or coprophobes that can stand the stink before they eat the custard within. The purpose of the Durian like all fruit is to disperse seeds. One reason for the stink is to repel little coprophobes that would burrow into the hard unripe fruit & make it drop prematurely next to the parent tree which would not be good for wide dispersal. Having repelled the little b***** the soft stinky is then free to ripen, drop, break in half & voila along will come a BIG hungry lumbering bear (bigger than a Titan Member) or some other animal that can carry it & knows about the custard & that animal then runs away manically with the whole darn lot & scatters seed for miles & miles. (see the cartoon which wouldn't go on Aroid-L). So, you see THAT's why there are so many stinky Durians everywhere. So, the stink of the Durian is to REPEL. Ok with the story so far? The stink of A. titanum ATTRACTS little coprophiles to pollinate them. But what creatures disperse the non-smelling useless fruit? Apparently the now endangered hornbill which is stink blind anyway? Maybe there are other non smelling creatures to take its place when that too is gone? I assume titanum fruit are not stinky otherwise it couldn't be dispersed by high class coprophobes?. Smellers are surely not going to go near a fruiting titanum to eat its fruit if stinky flowering plants are all around, If the stinking titanum inflorescences were mixed up with fruited plants the large coprophobes might not come at all. Maybe some smelling animals which know about the glorious custard would rush into the stink grab the thing & run like hell as far away as possible? If they are BIG coprophiles & there were forests of these stinks maybe they'd eat the mighty inflorescences too. Then what use would your beast be to posterity if its member was eaten before it had done its job? If now that the hornbills have crocked maybe its a good thing that Amorphos are solitary so they can still attract the little coprophiles when they're on heat & other big unsmelling smelly animals who will run away like hell with the fruit after the member has made little seeds? Effective pollination for solitaries depends on their making enough stink to fumigate a County. OK so they can do that? Effective seed dissemination by decently smelling animals depends on absence of stink? Titanum stink is needed both to attract to pollinate & to repel coprophiles which might otherwise eat entire virgin members. So as those dratted Titans & Hornbills get more & more sparse is it now single stink molecule sensitive coprophiles for conception, & big stupid brave glutton coprophobes for delivery? Are you OK still? One A. titanum in any region is enough because the stink is extremely potent, & its coprophilic pollinators extremely sensitive to its noxious odour molecules at astronomice distances. High density of members & suffocating stink would drive away or anaesthetise even maybe those pollinator flies & finally discourage all seed dissemination by "alternative" coproPHOBES & turn other forms of life competing for the same habitats into rabid > Phalloidophobes & little butchers envious of giant symbolic phalli. This > gestalt explains the low density of the titanums which you said was actually the case. I am a coprophobe & my earliest toilet training was successful. I have passed fully through the normal infants pre-occupation with its own litter about ninety five years ago.So I tolerate the sight of absurdly & impractically sized members symbols at amused distances whilst remaining true to my decently learned coprophobia by wearing healthy protective nose filters. So for me one titanum per square kilometre is enough, too much actually. To keep Titanum numbers at levels just above extinction to keep we modernists popular with the damn conservationists, like the rest of the useless jungle, I suggest we graze the darn Titanum to a just sustainable minimum with adequate but not too stupid coprophobes to make maximum politically expedient space to grow Durian. I do not eat my beloved Spathiphyllum. But DO try them they are toxic. You might also try the psychological aphrodisiac & creative inspirational effects of working in an environment where the perfume of these wonders, like that of a heavenly woman emanates at high concentration. Dreamy, Man. Works wonders for your romance life & can gives that special "lift" to jaded Members such as maybe yourselves. Although it does not have the magical psychological effects of Spathifeelia, I eat Durian flesh avidly as available & in the bush that of course assists in the wider dispersal of the through litter scatter RIPE Durian stink may be chemically & functionally different from that of Titanum certainly not as subtle as that of Spathifeelia. Apparently it does not attract flies even when grown as mighty forests. In such forests, after a while even coprophobic noses would surely become acclimatised to the stink as their owners indulge gluttonously in custard feasts. People do not apparently banquet near phalloids maybe because the sight of them makes them think about other things & the stink further puts them off the thought of food. In that way Amorphos might be ideal as slimming aids for obese people & aphrodisiacs if they were in otherwise need.of Viagra. I need further information on this for marketing. > You wrote "Around here people associate Spaths with funerals". How old fashioned! Yes, of course! THEY ARE PEACE LILIES & as you may not realise, Peace is as important in Life as after Death.... In early Europe & maybe even in your seemingly admitted superstitious & therefore primitive regions, White Arums (Zantedeschia aethiopica) are used at funerals, again as symbols of Peace & fertlitity. The perverted association between pure white aroids & Death may have been started after the > Middle Ages as the "flowers" came to be used at the endings of heretics such as myself. Such superstitions have largely died out in modern Societies where White Arums, Anthurium & EVEN SPATHS are now widely used at weddings for suggestive reasons & for bouquets which have to be more posh than carnations. I have no converse record of A. titanum being a Peace or fertility symbol at nuptuals even for obese Viagra deficient patients tying their knots.. > So - please respond to my reluctant amorphophilia by overcoming > your seeming illogical & unenlightened prejudice towards the elegant & beguiling simple Peace Lilies which as a creative stylishly inconcupiscent artist I love & need. They are perfumed, Amorphos stink, Durian are both. You & your responders seemed confused about these facts & I have tried to help you probably unsuccessfully. So I end with the Prayer, "May Durians be everywhere & stinkies keep respectful distance from all of us who are not overweight, not getting married & not needing Viagra. Let there be a Spathifeelia in every shower & playroom & if you are a Man you need never fear an Amorpho again. Amen. I trust you understand Brit humour & hope you enjoyed this simple story. Brace yourself for the next instalment by Ron Naughty. It may get worse, far worse If you have read this to the end & actually understood what I ACTUALLY wrote in this hyperbolic parable that is one of us. Maybe IAS could give you a medal or something?. Durian > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Randy Story" > To: > Sent: Thursday, September 12, 2002 6:52 AM > Subject: Re: [aroid-l] How does A. titanum do it? > > Ron, > > I assume you've never been around a durian fruit. People who live in the > same part of the world as A. titanum consider durian to be a delicacy and > somehow put up with that ungodly stench. There are many, many more durians > than there are A. titanums! > > Around here people associate Spaths with funerals. > > Randy > > ----------

From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2002.09.16 at 18:06:24(9424) Hi Donna! Now that IS funny. I was tempted to say, "Shocking", "Disgraceful" but no I am big enough.. However I hope the little grooms were not overcome from the o'er raised expectations. If bridal gowns had been designed exactly like the things "skirts", it might have been two weddings & at least two funerals. +More But what a SPLENDID idea. I think I'll change from being a WASP & just promote those "things" (I'm too British actually to say the words) for weddings. But Wilbert where do I buy them REALLY wholesale? "Be happy ever after. Come to Iles & be sure of getting YOUR BIG one" TASP ----- Original Message ----- To: Sent: Monday, September 16, 2002 11:26 AM Subject: Re: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) Dear Ron, While at the Selby Gardens, during the double flowering of Amorphophallus titanum in 1999, the night following the first flowering (when stink had faded, but spadix was still erect) the Gardens hosted two evening weddings and BOTH wedding parties came to be photographed standing next to the inflorescences on display. The bride looked positively radiant while standing next to the thing, but the groom looked a mite nervous standing there, as though he did not belong in the picture! Perhaps he was doubly envious since there were not just one, but two of the inflorescence towering over him. I am certain the images made a glorious presentation for their wedding photo albums. Both wedding parties came trooping in with professional photographers who spent a great deal of time arranging the lovely ladies near the plants, all lined up and pretty in their elaborate flowing formal gowns, which shaped-echoed the ruffled titanum spathes. We dropped the stanchion ropes so the ladies could get in close. I suspect Amorph. titanum could become the new trendy wedding flower if there were enough of them available for photo ops. They do tend to flower during the summer wedding season, so the logistics are right on target. Sometimes posh and tasteful is not what people are really looking for. Donna In a message dated 9/14/2002 11:31:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time, roniles@eircom.net writes: > I have > no converse record of A. titanum being a Peace or fertility symbol at > nuptuals even for obese Viagra deficient patients tying their knots..

From: "Randy Story" story at caltech.edu> on 2002.09.16 at 18:47:43(9425) Hi Ron (and Tsu Yang), I was out of town so didn't have a chance to comment on this earlier. Regarding Durian vs. Amorphophallus smells: I related most of this story on aroid-l a few months ago, so sorry for the repetition. I brought into work both A. bulbifer and Sauromatum tubers that bloomed. In each case these eventually smelled up the room they were in and had to be moved to a fume hood. A few months earlier, however, there was a semi-panic when a noxious smell filled the entire floor (not just one room). Thinking that there must have been some sort of chemical spill, people called the chemical safety department! I recognized the smell as Durian but people were not convinced it could be a "mere" fruit. Eventually the remains were found in a trash container--a Vietnamese janitor had snacked on a Durian. Chemical safety had arrived but their services were unneeded. I have tried Durian once. It was a thawed frozen one, so I realize the taste was inferior. Maybe I will have to taste one of the "fresh" ones available in the market these days (although I realize these are still inferior to "real" fresh ones). I wouldn't say that I liked the fruit, but I didn't detest it. The smell was unpleasant though, so we had to put the carcass outside. The next morning it was covered with dozens of (not small!) metallic green beetles. I had not noticed these beetles running around the yard prior to this--presumably the scent of the fruit was a big draw. Ron, I really like the idea of the dual scent features of the fruit and the resultant attraction of large consumers and seed spreaders while repelling the little guys (perhaps the "thorns" play a role here too??). It makes a lot of sense. My experience with the beetles seems possibly in conflict with this, though. Perhaps the repulsive phenomenon is only with the unopened or partially cracked open (ripe) fruit, but after it has been mostly gnawed at things change? I'm curious if you have any ideas. I actually don't have anything against Spaths. I gave my mom one a couple of years ago. Just curious: You mention your "Brit humour". I was under the impression that you are Irish and that they don't like to be called Brits (which I thought is restricted to people from Great Britain). Do I have this wrong? Randy +More ---------- >From: "Ron Iles" >To: >Subject: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) >Date: Sat, Sep 14, 2002, 2:40 PM > > > In a unseemly haste to answer, I did not edit this epistle as much as I > should to make it less incoherent before the draft "got away", again, & > during one of the frequent power cuts due to insufficient fossil fuel at > power stations, the version being fumigated between several tap dancing > lessons was lost. Here is what may be the almost definitive undefinable 10 > MB version the less illiterate cross-eyed incongruity of which I hope will > not be flushed from the annals of Aroid-L. > > > > >> Randy, >> >> I enjoyed your humour. Yes of course I know Durian, when most ripe it is > said to be like eating custard through **** >> > So I return the fibrous matter for your (in)digestion. It should not > necessarily > be regarded as adding to the real Natural History of either your > Durian or your Titanum. I hope my fiction is as interesting as some of > that which > I recently received >> > Stinky Durians are eaten either by unsmelling > animals, or coprophiles or coprophobes that can stand the stink before they > eat the custard within. The purpose of the Durian like all fruit is to > disperse seeds. One reason for the stink is to repel little coprophobes > that would > burrow into the hard unripe fruit & make it drop prematurely next to the > parent > tree which would not be good for wide dispersal. Having repelled the little > b***** the soft stinky is then free to ripen, drop, break in half & voila > along > will come a BIG > hungry lumbering bear (bigger than a Titan Member) or some other animal that > can carry it & knows about the custard & that animal then runs away > manically with > the whole darn lot & scatters seed for miles & miles. (see the cartoon > which wouldn't go on Aroid-L). So, you see THAT's why there > are so many stinky Durians everywhere. So, the stink of the Durian is to > REPEL. Ok > with the story so far? > > The stink of A. titanum ATTRACTS little coprophiles to pollinate them. But > what creatures disperse the non-smelling useless fruit? Apparently the now > endangered hornbill which is stink blind anyway? Maybe > there are other non smelling creatures to take its place when that too is > gone? I assume titanum fruit are not stinky otherwise it couldn't be > dispersed by high class coprophobes?. Smellers are surely not going to go > near a fruiting titanum to eat its fruit if stinky flowering plants are all > around, If > the stinking titanum inflorescences were mixed up with fruited plants the > large coprophobes might not come at all. Maybe some smelling > animals which know about the glorious custard would rush into the stink grab > the thing & run like hell as far away as possible? If they are BIG > coprophiles & there were forests of these stinks maybe they'd eat the mighty > inflorescences too. Then what use would your beast be to posterity if its > member was eaten before it had done its job? If now that the hornbills have > crocked maybe its a good thing that Amorphos are solitary so they can still > attract the little coprophiles when they're on heat & other big unsmelling > smelly animals who will run away like hell with the fruit after the member > has made little seeds? Effective pollination for solitaries depends on > their making > enough stink to fumigate a County. OK so they can do that? Effective seed > dissemination by decently smelling animals depends on absence of stink? > Titanum stink is needed both to attract to pollinate & to repel coprophiles > which might otherwise eat entire virgin members. So as those dratted > Titans & > Hornbills get more & more sparse is it now single stink molecule sensitive > coprophiles for conception, & big stupid brave glutton coprophobes for > delivery? > > Are you OK still? > > One A. titanum in any region is enough because the stink is extremely > potent, & > its coprophilic pollinators extremely sensitive to its noxious odour > molecules at astronomice distances. High density of members & suffocating > stink would drive away or anaesthetise even maybe those pollinator > flies & finally discourage all seed dissemination by "alternative" > coproPHOBES & turn > other forms of life competing for the same habitats into rabid >> Phalloidophobes & little butchers envious of giant symbolic phalli. This >> > gestalt explains the low density of the titanums which you said was actually > the case. > > I am a coprophobe & my earliest toilet training was successful. I > have passed fully through the normal infants pre-occupation with its own > litter about ninety five years ago.So I tolerate > the sight of absurdly & impractically sized members symbols at amused > distances whilst > remaining true to my decently learned coprophobia by wearing healthy > protective nose filters. So for me one titanum per square kilometre is > enough, too much > actually. > > To keep Titanum numbers at levels just above extinction to keep we > modernists popular with the damn conservationists, like the rest of the > useless jungle, I suggest we graze the darn Titanum to a just sustainable > minimum with adequate but not too > stupid coprophobes to make maximum politically expedient space to grow > Durian. > > I do not eat my beloved Spathiphyllum. But DO try them they are toxic. > You might also try the psychological aphrodisiac & creative inspirational > effects of working in an environment where the perfume of these wonders, > like that of a heavenly woman emanates at high concentration. Dreamy, Man. > Works wonders for your romance life & can gives that special "lift" to > jaded Members such as maybe yourselves. > > Although it does not have the magical psychological effects of Spathifeelia, > I eat Durian flesh avidly as available & in the bush that of course assists > in the wider dispersal of the through litter > scatter RIPE Durian stink may be chemically & functionally > different from that of Titanum certainly not as subtle as that of > Spathifeelia. Apparently it does not attract flies even when grown as > mighty > forests. In such forests, after a while even coprophobic noses would surely > become > acclimatised to the stink as their owners indulge > gluttonously in custard feasts. > > People do not apparently banquet near > phalloids maybe because the sight of them makes them think about other > things & the > stink further puts them off the thought of food. In that way Amorphos might > be > ideal as slimming aids for obese people & aphrodisiacs if they were in > otherwise need.of Viagra. > I need further information on this for marketing. >> > You wrote "Around here people associate Spaths with funerals". How old > fashioned! Yes, of course! THEY ARE PEACE LILIES & as you may not realise, > Peace > is as important in Life as after Death.... In early Europe & maybe even in > your seemingly admitted superstitious & therefore primitive regions, White > Arums (Zantedeschia aethiopica) are used at > funerals, again as symbols of Peace & fertlitity. The perverted association > between pure white aroids & Death may have been started > after the > Middle Ages as the "flowers" came to be used at the endings of > heretics such as > myself. Such superstitions > have largely died out in modern Societies where White Arums, Anthurium & > EVEN > SPATHS are now widely used at weddings for suggestive reasons & for bouquets > which have to be more posh than carnations. I have > no converse record of A. titanum being a Peace or fertility symbol at > nuptuals even for obese Viagra deficient patients tying their knots.. >> > So - please respond to my reluctant amorphophilia by overcoming >> your seeming illogical & unenlightened prejudice towards the elegant & > beguiling simple Peace Lilies which as a creative stylishly inconcupiscent > artist I love & need. They are perfumed, Amorphos stink, Durian are both. > > You & your responders seemed confused about these facts & I have tried to > help you probably unsuccessfully. So I end with the Prayer, "May Durians be > everywhere & stinkies keep > respectful distance from all of us who are not overweight, not getting > married & not needing Viagra. Let there be a Spathifeelia in every shower > & playroom & if you are a Man you need never fear an Amorpho again. Amen. > I trust you understand Brit humour & hope you enjoyed this > simple story. Brace yourself for the next instalment by Ron Naughty. It > may get worse, far worse > > If you have read this to the end & actually understood what I ACTUALLY wrote > in this hyperbolic parable that is one of us. Maybe IAS could give you a > medal or something?. > > > Durian > >> > >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "Randy Story" >> To: >> Sent: Thursday, September 12, 2002 6:52 AM >> Subject: Re: [aroid-l] How does A. titanum do it? >> >> Ron, >> >> I assume you've never been around a durian fruit. People who live in the >> same part of the world as A. titanum consider durian to be a delicacy and >> somehow put up with that ungodly stench. There are many, many more > durians >> than there are A. titanums! >> >> Around here people associate Spaths with funerals. >> >> Randy >> >> ---------- > > >

From: "Ron Iles" roniles at eircom.net> on 2002.09.17 at 00:34:47(9426) Thanks Randy, As you realise a lot of the things I said were tongue in cheek to share fun provocatively & learn. So, thank you for your funny story which reciprocates that fun. Please Julius tell Randy & the other folks what you told me, set the record straight, THE FACTS not my hypotheses about DURIAN & TITAN & other dreadful things..... Yes I'm a Brit, but where I came from used to be woods & fields, now its mostly concrete & cars, for ever, so I escaped to keep my sanity to West Cork. I consider Ireland as nearer my heart's home; here a Natural World where I can live out of the insane rat race in Peace & Quiet to think, feel & share fun with like caring imaginative original simple people. I can watch, observe, carefully understand, it is an inspirational & creative Life. I am loyal to my Country but not its escalating materialism & its NOISE etc etc so here is my adopted home. Re: Spaths, maybe few people have seen the whole range of Spath SPECIES, many VERY different from the usual supermarket ones which are still elegant & graceful but more look alike. In due course I'll take photos of this tremendous Collection for which I'm privileged to be a custodian & request a digital wizard to post them on the net for you folks. They have to grow for several more months or so & flower first Any offers please, I could send half a dozen at a time as they flower & I photograph on film as I can't afford a good digicamera yet. Its after midnight, I'm tired on tired, so thanks for your enthusiasm. Ron Iles +More ----- Original Message ----- To: Sent: Monday, September 16, 2002 7:47 PM Subject: Re: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) Hi Ron (and Tsu Yang), I was out of town so didn't have a chance to comment on this earlier. Regarding Durian vs. Amorphophallus smells: I related most of this story on aroid-l a few months ago, so sorry for the repetition. I brought into work both A. bulbifer and Sauromatum tubers that bloomed. In each case these eventually smelled up the room they were in and had to be moved to a fume hood. A few months earlier, however, there was a semi-panic when a noxious smell filled the entire floor (not just one room). Thinking that there must have been some sort of chemical spill, people called the chemical safety department! I recognized the smell as Durian but people were not convinced it could be a "mere" fruit. Eventually the remains were found in a trash container--a Vietnamese janitor had snacked on a Durian. Chemical safety had arrived but their services were unneeded. I have tried Durian once. It was a thawed frozen one, so I realize the taste was inferior. Maybe I will have to taste one of the "fresh" ones available in the market these days (although I realize these are still inferior to "real" fresh ones). I wouldn't say that I liked the fruit, but I didn't detest it. The smell was unpleasant though, so we had to put the carcass outside. The next morning it was covered with dozens of (not small!) metallic green beetles. I had not noticed these beetles running around the yard prior to this--presumably the scent of the fruit was a big draw. Ron, I really like the idea of the dual scent features of the fruit and the resultant attraction of large consumers and seed spreaders while repelling the little guys (perhaps the "thorns" play a role here too??). It makes a lot of sense. My experience with the beetles seems possibly in conflict with this, though. Perhaps the repulsive phenomenon is only with the unopened or partially cracked open (ripe) fruit, but after it has been mostly gnawed at things change? I'm curious if you have any ideas. I actually don't have anything against Spaths. I gave my mom one a couple of years ago. Just curious: You mention your "Brit humour". I was under the impression that you are Irish and that they don't like to be called Brits (which I thought is restricted to people from Great Britain). Do I have this wrong? Randy ---------- >From: "Ron Iles" >To: >Subject: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) >Date: Sat, Sep 14, 2002, 2:40 PM > > > In a unseemly haste to answer, I did not edit this epistle as much as I > should to make it less incoherent before the draft "got away", again, & > during one of the frequent power cuts due to insufficient fossil fuel at > power stations, the version being fumigated between several tap dancing > lessons was lost. Here is what may be the almost definitive undefinable 10 > MB version the less illiterate cross-eyed incongruity of which I hope will > not be flushed from the annals of Aroid-L. > > > > >> Randy, >> >> I enjoyed your humour. Yes of course I know Durian, when most ripe it is > said to be like eating custard through **** >> > So I return the fibrous matter for your (in)digestion. It should not > necessarily > be regarded as adding to the real Natural History of either your > Durian or your Titanum. I hope my fiction is as interesting as some of > that which > I recently received >> > Stinky Durians are eaten either by unsmelling > animals, or coprophiles or coprophobes that can stand the stink before they > eat the custard within. The purpose of the Durian like all fruit is to > disperse seeds. One reason for the stink is to repel little coprophobes > that would > burrow into the hard unripe fruit & make it drop prematurely next to the > parent > tree which would not be good for wide dispersal. Having repelled the little > b***** the soft stinky is then free to ripen, drop, break in half & voila > along > will come a BIG > hungry lumbering bear (bigger than a Titan Member) or some other animal that > can carry it & knows about the custard & that animal then runs away > manically with > the whole darn lot & scatters seed for miles & miles. (see the cartoon > which wouldn't go on Aroid-L). So, you see THAT's why there > are so many stinky Durians everywhere. So, the stink of the Durian is to > REPEL. Ok > with the story so far? > > The stink of A. titanum ATTRACTS little coprophiles to pollinate them. But > what creatures disperse the non-smelling useless fruit? Apparently the now > endangered hornbill which is stink blind anyway? Maybe > there are other non smelling creatures to take its place when that too is > gone? I assume titanum fruit are not stinky otherwise it couldn't be > dispersed by high class coprophobes?. Smellers are surely not going to go > near a fruiting titanum to eat its fruit if stinky flowering plants are all > around, If > the stinking titanum inflorescences were mixed up with fruited plants the > large coprophobes might not come at all. Maybe some smelling > animals which know about the glorious custard would rush into the stink grab > the thing & run like hell as far away as possible? If they are BIG > coprophiles & there were forests of these stinks maybe they'd eat the mighty > inflorescences too. Then what use would your beast be to posterity if its > member was eaten before it had done its job? If now that the hornbills have > crocked maybe its a good thing that Amorphos are solitary so they can still > attract the little coprophiles when they're on heat & other big unsmelling > smelly animals who will run away like hell with the fruit after the member > has made little seeds? Effective pollination for solitaries depends on > their making > enough stink to fumigate a County. OK so they can do that? Effective seed > dissemination by decently smelling animals depends on absence of stink? > Titanum stink is needed both to attract to pollinate & to repel coprophiles > which might otherwise eat entire virgin members. So as those dratted > Titans & > Hornbills get more & more sparse is it now single stink molecule sensitive > coprophiles for conception, & big stupid brave glutton coprophobes for > delivery? > > Are you OK still? > > One A. titanum in any region is enough because the stink is extremely > potent, & > its coprophilic pollinators extremely sensitive to its noxious odour > molecules at astronomice distances. High density of members & suffocating > stink would drive away or anaesthetise even maybe those pollinator > flies & finally discourage all seed dissemination by "alternative" > coproPHOBES & turn > other forms of life competing for the same habitats into rabid >> Phalloidophobes & little butchers envious of giant symbolic phalli. This >> > gestalt explains the low density of the titanums which you said was actually > the case. > > I am a coprophobe & my earliest toilet training was successful. I > have passed fully through the normal infants pre-occupation with its own > litter about ninety five years ago.So I tolerate > the sight of absurdly & impractically sized members symbols at amused > distances whilst > remaining true to my decently learned coprophobia by wearing healthy > protective nose filters. So for me one titanum per square kilometre is > enough, too much > actually. > > To keep Titanum numbers at levels just above extinction to keep we > modernists popular with the damn conservationists, like the rest of the > useless jungle, I suggest we graze the darn Titanum to a just sustainable > minimum with adequate but not too > stupid coprophobes to make maximum politically expedient space to grow > Durian. > > I do not eat my beloved Spathiphyllum. But DO try them they are toxic. > You might also try the psychological aphrodisiac & creative inspirational > effects of working in an environment where the perfume of these wonders, > like that of a heavenly woman emanates at high concentration. Dreamy, Man. > Works wonders for your romance life & can gives that special "lift" to > jaded Members such as maybe yourselves. > > Although it does not have the magical psychological effects of Spathifeelia, > I eat Durian flesh avidly as available & in the bush that of course assists > in the wider dispersal of the through litter > scatter RIPE Durian stink may be chemically & functionally > different from that of Titanum certainly not as subtle as that of > Spathifeelia. Apparently it does not attract flies even when grown as > mighty > forests. In such forests, after a while even coprophobic noses would surely > become > acclimatised to the stink as their owners indulge > gluttonously in custard feasts. > > People do not apparently banquet near > phalloids maybe because the sight of them makes them think about other > things & the > stink further puts them off the thought of food. In that way Amorphos might > be > ideal as slimming aids for obese people & aphrodisiacs if they were in > otherwise need.of Viagra. > I need further information on this for marketing. >> > You wrote "Around here people associate Spaths with funerals". How old > fashioned! Yes, of course! THEY ARE PEACE LILIES & as you may not realise, > Peace > is as important in Life as after Death.... In early Europe & maybe even in > your seemingly admitted superstitious & therefore primitive regions, White > Arums (Zantedeschia aethiopica) are used at > funerals, again as symbols of Peace & fertlitity. The perverted association > between pure white aroids & Death may have been started > after the > Middle Ages as the "flowers" came to be used at the endings of > heretics such as > myself. Such superstitions > have largely died out in modern Societies where White Arums, Anthurium & > EVEN > SPATHS are now widely used at weddings for suggestive reasons & for bouquets > which have to be more posh than carnations. I have > no converse record of A. titanum being a Peace or fertility symbol at > nuptuals even for obese Viagra deficient patients tying their knots.. >> > So - please respond to my reluctant amorphophilia by overcoming >> your seeming illogical & unenlightened prejudice towards the elegant & > beguiling simple Peace Lilies which as a creative stylishly inconcupiscent > artist I love & need. They are perfumed, Amorphos stink, Durian are both. > > You & your responders seemed confused about these facts & I have tried to > help you probably unsuccessfully. So I end with the Prayer, "May Durians be > everywhere & stinkies keep > respectful distance from all of us who are not overweight, not getting > married & not needing Viagra. Let there be a Spathifeelia in every shower > & playroom & if you are a Man you need never fear an Amorpho again. Amen. > I trust you understand Brit humour & hope you enjoyed this > simple story. Brace yourself for the next instalment by Ron Naughty. It > may get worse, far worse > > If you have read this to the end & actually understood what I ACTUALLY wrote > in this hyperbolic parable that is one of us. Maybe IAS could give you a > medal or something?. > > > Durian > >> > >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "Randy Story" >> To: >> Sent: Thursday, September 12, 2002 6:52 AM >> Subject: Re: [aroid-l] How does A. titanum do it? >> >> Ron, >> >> I assume you've never been around a durian fruit. People who live in the >> same part of the world as A. titanum consider durian to be a delicacy and >> somehow put up with that ungodly stench. There are many, many more > durians >> than there are A. titanums! >> >> Around here people associate Spaths with funerals. >> >> Randy >> >> ---------- > > >

From: "Julius Boos" ju-bo at msn.com> on 2002.09.19 at 01:51:53(9435) Per your request, here it is Ron! (My comp. was down the last four days, but I`m back!) Julius +More >>Julius, Thank you for the consideration the preview of which I hope you will put on Aroid-L for further discussion & memorable cartoon visions. It will bring out orang utans like yourself, elephants & maybe weevils. I think the whole lot is funny beginning with the tempting word randy. R. ----- Original Message ----- To: "Ron Iles" Sent: Sunday, September 15, 2002 3:24 PM Subject: Re: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) ----- Original Message ----- To: Sent: Saturday, September 14, 2002 5:40 PM Subject: [aroid-l] Debate about Stink (Re-fumigated) Ron, Just a quick note to keep in contact--- Just a couple of observations on your missive (below) that do not seem correct--- >Stinky Durians are eaten either by unsmelling animals, or coprophiles or coprophobes that can stand the stink before they eat the custard within. The purpose of the Durian like all fruit is to disperse seeds. One reason for the stink is to repel little coprophobes that would burrow into the hard unripe fruit & make it drop prematurely next to the parent tree which would not be good for wide dispersal. << The green fruit of Durians (like most or all fruit) do not have an odour of dung like when they are 'green' or developing, so could not repel (or attract) any insects, coprophiles OR coprophobes, but I`d bet if there are any seed weevils specific to durians they would do their dirty work no matter what. >>Having repelled the little b***** the soft stinky is then free to ripen, drop, break in half & voila along will come a BIG hungry lumbering bear (bigger than a Titan Member) or some other animal that can carry it & knows about the custard & that animal then runs away manically with the whole darn lot & scatters seed for miles & miles. (see the cartoon which wouldn't go on Aroid-L). So, you see THAT's why there are so many stinky Durians everywhere. So, the stink of the Durian is to REPEL. Ok with the story so far?<< The smell of Durians is to ATTRACT the oranguatns and elephants which consume the fruit, seeds and all, then later eliminate the seeds with their dung far away from the parent tree. The dung acts as fertilizer, giving the seedlings a good start in life. >>The stink of A. titanum ATTRACTS little coprophiles to pollinate them. But what creatures disperse the non-smelling useless fruit? Apparently the now endangered hornbill which is stink blind anyway? Maybe there are other non smelling creatures to take its place when that too is gone? I assume titanum fruit are not stinky otherwise it couldn't be dispersed by high class coprophobes?. Smellers are surely not going to go near a fruiting titanum to eat its fruit if stinky flowering plants are all around, If the stinking titanum inflorescences were mixed up with fruited plants the large coprophobes might not come at all. Maybe some smelling animals which know about the glorious custard would rush into the stink grab the thing & run like hell as far away as possible? If they are BIG coprophiles & there were forests of these stinks maybe they'd eat the mighty inflorescences too. Then what use would your beast be to posterity if its member was eaten before it had done its job? If now that the hornbills have crocked maybe its a good thing that Amorphos are solitary so they can still attract the little coprophiles when they're on heat & other big unsmelling smelly animals who will run away like hell with the fruit after the member has made little seeds? Effective pollination for solitaries depends on their making enough stink to fumigate a County. OK so they can do that? Effective seed dissemination by decently smelling animals depends on absence of stink? Titanum stink is needed both to attract to pollinate & to repel coprophiles which might otherwise eat entire virgin members. So as those dratted Titans & Hornbills get more & more sparse is it now single stink molecule sensitive coprophiles for conception, & big stupid brave glutton coprophobes for delivery?<< Like most Aroid fruit, the outer fruit portion of the ripe red fruit of A. titanum are sweet and pleasant tasting. The hornbills (and I believe bulbul birds) swallow the friut whole, quickly digest the outer covering in their craws, then re-gurgitate (vomit) the unharmed large seeds up and out away from the parent plant. Because of the thin 'skins' on Amorphophallus seeds I do not think they would survive a 'trip' through the entire alementary canal of a hornbill. Are you OK still? >>One A. titanum in any region is enough because the stink is extremely potent, & its coprophilic pollinators extremely sensitive to its noxious odour molecules at astronomice distances. High density of members & suffocating stink would drive away or anaesthetise even maybe those pollinator flies & finally discourage all seed dissemination by "alternative" coproPHOBES & turn other forms of life competing for the same habitats into rabid Phalloidophobes & little butchers envious of giant symbolic phalli. This gestalt explains the low density of the titanums which you said was actually the case.<< Funny! In the case of coprophylic insects the rule seems to be 'the more the merrier', for them more is better, a larger food source for them and their larvae. >>I am a coprophobe & my earliest toilet training was successful. I have passed fully through the normal infants pre-occupation with its own litter about ninety five years ago.So I tolerate the sight of absurdly & impractically sized members symbols at amused distances whilst remaining true to my decently learned coprophobia by wearing healthy protective nose filters. So for me one titanum per square kilometre is enough, too much actually.<< This is a GOOD thing, Ron. You will be welcome at any meeting of a group of people. Thanks for letting us know!! :--)> >>I do not eat my beloved Spathiphyllum. But DO try them they are toxic. You might also try the psychological aphrodisiac & creative inspirational effects of working in an environment where the perfume of these wonders, like that of a heavenly woman emanates at high concentration. Dreamy, Man. Works wonders for your romance life & can gives that special "lift" to jaded Members such as maybe yourselves.<< A new GREEN pill on the market soon??? 'Viagraphyllum', or perhaps Spathiviag' ??? >>Although it does not have the magical psychological effects of Spathifeelia, I eat Durian flesh avidly as available & in the bush that of course assists in the wider dispersal of the through litter scatter RIPE Durian stink may be chemically & functionally different from that of Titanum certainly not as subtle as that of Spathifeelia. Apparently it does not attract flies even when grown as mighty forests. In such forests, after a while even coprophobic noses would surely become acclimatised to the stink as their owners indulge gluttonously in custard feasts.<< Where did you early toilet training fail you, Ron!?!?!?! You can actually stand to EAT durian flesh????? Enough! Have a great day, Julius

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